[ If a good workout results in some muscle pains the next day, having your back bones broken from a fight is Hell. He can barely sleep, and moving after lying down feels like fingernails on the blackboard. Though he knows clearly that he has to rest as much as he can for at least a couple of days, he can't stay there forever without doing anything, much less now that he hears the gentle voice of the girl he's gotten to care for so much. ]
Rei... I'm here.
[ He bites back a groan that's threatening to leave him as he tries to get up on his feet, not wanting to worry her too much. When she enters, she can see that he has some bruises and cuts here and there, but nothing major is particularly noticeable. ]
[ she looks up at him when he opens the door, examining him. in one of her hands is a small plastic bag and the other hands nervously fidgets with the hem of her skirt. ]
Um... I heard about the fight from T-chan...
[ she doesn't know how else to put it but straight out like that. she walks in and looks around a bit at her surroundings, but she turns towards mondo, still trying to examine him and trying to see if he's hurt further than just the bruises and cuts. ]
[ He closes the door behind them, just in case. There isn't much in the warehouse, just a bunch of tools that have been tidied up to one side, a futon, and a cat bed with Lia, a tabby cat that's just laying on it lazily without even acknowledging Rei. ]
My bad, I've got nothin' here, but you can sit on the futon if you wanna.
[ ...So she's heard about it. Mondo awkwardly runs his hand on the back of his head, a little ashamed that he's making her worry. Rei has always been kind ー she's always trying to find ways to help him and the others with all she has, like the time with Terry. It's exactly why he doesn't really want to tell her the truth. ]
I'm good... Terry prolly had it worse than me. I... I'm fine.
[ Just as he says it, he can feel it again, the bubbling up emotions that he felt when he fought with Terry the day before.
Shit! Not now, not when Rei is here! He thought he was alright when he woke up, but in a split second, his thoughts and emotions are hitting the top of the bar. His hands tremble on his sides, and his back pain aches more than ever. He grits his teeth hard, shutting his eyes for a moment, before opening them again. ]
It was all my bad, I... I had lost myself and... I hurt him bad... I was a fuckin' asshole... I... Rei, it might've been better if you leave... I might hurt you the way I did him. I'm...
[ His voice trails off, his mind decides to play back the happening with Fujisaki, clearer, in the perspective of a third person. Wonderland was his curse and blessing ー he's gotten the closure he had never thought he would, but he had also learned things that he would've been happier not knowing, like moments before Fujisaki left the world in his blood-stained hands. Both remorse and fear attack him at once. What if he repeats the same mistake? He already did what he did to Terry, he could repeat it again. ]
[ mondo offers the futon to sit on, but she doesn't budge. instead, as mondo begins to shake and suddenly, something really aches in rei's chest. seeing him so upset, it saddens her. he doesn't deserve to be in such a state and she reaches out. she attempts to take one of his fists and bring it up to her, holding them with both of her small hands. they grip on tightly and although he has his eyes closed, she's looking straight up at him. ]
... it's okay, Mo-chan, I know you wouldn't do that if you could help it.
[ she's not scared when he tells her that he might hurt her. she doesn't think that it'll happen, but even if it does, she would forgive him. she understands everything completely. ]
You're a good person. You wouldn't do anything if you could help it. Something must have happened before you got into a fight with T-chan.
[ terry has told her that he has been experiencing these strange mood swings and she knows that he wouldn't lie to her. she has also seen strange behaviour overcoming her friends before. sometimes, shadows inflict strange aliments onto people and that can dramatically change how they are. although terry said that it wasn't a shadow that infected him, she still thinks that some external factor had to cause everything. after all, mo-chan is kind and sweet. she can't imagine him ever getting upset if it wasn't for a really good reason or because he was pushed by something. ]
It felt like if he lets his guard down even just for a split second, he'll lose control of himself and repeat the same mistake again. Fujisaki was a good person, but let's face it ー he wasn't someone Mondo treasured the way he does Rei. Mondo wouldn't have known what to do with himself if the same thing happens to Rei, and if he loses her.
He looks towards the door and is about to run out of there when Rei grips his hand. His eyes dilate as he fights the urge to pry her hands off. When his eyes meet hers, he can see it ー what he admires about Rei: her courage. Her strength. It would be really easy for someone like Mondo to hurt her, but she has her trust on him ー she doesn't budge, nor worry for her own safety.
And yet, here he is, knees buckling from fear, down to the ground. The entirety of his back screams at the sudden strain he puts on it, but he can barely feel it when the tormenting pain in his heart is threatening to choke him. Tears begin to form in his eyes, and he hates it. He doesn't want Rei to see him like this.
Fuck! Fuck this!! Goddammit!! His fist balls, knuckles scratching against the ground. He's on all fours, head dropping so she won't see his tears, but it's obvious what's dropping on the ground isn't sweat. The tears won't stop, and he grits his teeth so hard it's audible. ]
Rei...
[ It's probably so fucking selfish to wish for this but he doesn't want to lose anyone dear to him anymore. He'd rather get tortured to death than having to lose anyone again. He'll do anything, everything, even if it means to leave everything behind if he can keep them safe. ]
[ she doesn't expect him to fall to his hands and knees like that. her hands come off when he drops and she stands there frozen for a second, trying to process everything. she's never seen mo-chan in such a vulnerable state before. she doesn't understand what's going on, but she kneels down next to him. she's about to put out a hand to place on his back, unknowing that it's hurt, when he says something that confuses her. ]
A murderer?
[ mo-chan is... a murderer...? ]
What do you mean?
[ well, that can't be true. he's a big friendly giant. he's like shin-chan and kanji-kun. just like them, he can't hurt anyone... the audience laughs in shinjiro's direction. ]
[ Rei will probably be scared of him, or even leave him if he says it. But she needs to know. She has to know, how dangerous he can be, how easily it is for him to lose control and hurt her. His entire body shakes, together with his voice. ]
I... I killed my classmate.
[ His fists ball on the ground. ]
...I was... I was jealous of the strength Fujisaki showed-- and I...
[ He can't-- his voice trails off as he groans, tears pooling under him. ]
[ i hope mondo can kill my mobile just like he killed chihiro because it never sent this tag and i hate everything!!!!! ]
[ rei stays kneeled down next to mondo, completely unsure what to do. he's crying and he's saying that he killed someone, but she can't imagine that kind and sweet mo-chan could do something as bad as murdering a person. ]
I don't understand...
[ she says softly, but she speaks a bit louder as she finally moves that hand on his back. ]
But I know that you're a good person, Mo-chan. You wouldn't hurt anyone if you didn't have a good reason or if something forced you to. I'm sure it was just like what happened with T-chan!
[ He turns to look at Rei, eyebrows scrunched. Apart from tears, anger can be seen clearly in his eyes, but it's not one directed to Rei. At least, he didn't mean to, initially. ]
Ya don't understand, Rei. I killed Fujisaki because I was jealous. I couldn't control my anger, I couldn't control my own emotions and I just did it. There ain't no reason. I just did it.
[ He sees the need to emphasise that. Even if he didn't intend to kill Fujisaki, he did. It was done by his own hands, and that's what all it is. ]
That's right-- 's just like what happened with Terry!! [ His voice raises then, like his anger suddenly peaks. ] I just kept punchin' and fightin' him, even if it could've hurt him bad!! Even if... even if he's a friend...
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Rei... I'm here.
[ He bites back a groan that's threatening to leave him as he tries to get up on his feet, not wanting to worry her too much. When she enters, she can see that he has some bruises and cuts here and there, but nothing major is particularly noticeable. ]
Hey, what's up?
no subject
Um... I heard about the fight from T-chan...
[ she doesn't know how else to put it but straight out like that. she walks in and looks around a bit at her surroundings, but she turns towards mondo, still trying to examine him and trying to see if he's hurt further than just the bruises and cuts. ]
I wanted to see if I could heal you, if you hurt.
no subject
My bad, I've got nothin' here, but you can sit on the futon if you wanna.
[ ...So she's heard about it. Mondo awkwardly runs his hand on the back of his head, a little ashamed that he's making her worry. Rei has always been kind ー she's always trying to find ways to help him and the others with all she has, like the time with Terry. It's exactly why he doesn't really want to tell her the truth. ]
I'm good... Terry prolly had it worse than me. I... I'm fine.
[ Just as he says it, he can feel it again, the bubbling up emotions that he felt when he fought with Terry the day before.
Shit! Not now, not when Rei is here! He thought he was alright when he woke up, but in a split second, his thoughts and emotions are hitting the top of the bar. His hands tremble on his sides, and his back pain aches more than ever. He grits his teeth hard, shutting his eyes for a moment, before opening them again. ]
It was all my bad, I... I had lost myself and... I hurt him bad... I was a fuckin' asshole... I... Rei, it might've been better if you leave... I might hurt you the way I did him. I'm...
[ His voice trails off, his mind decides to play back the happening with Fujisaki, clearer, in the perspective of a third person. Wonderland was his curse and blessing ー he's gotten the closure he had never thought he would, but he had also learned things that he would've been happier not knowing, like moments before Fujisaki left the world in his blood-stained hands. Both remorse and fear attack him at once. What if he repeats the same mistake? He already did what he did to Terry, he could repeat it again. ]
no subject
... it's okay, Mo-chan, I know you wouldn't do that if you could help it.
[ she's not scared when he tells her that he might hurt her. she doesn't think that it'll happen, but even if it does, she would forgive him. she understands everything completely. ]
You're a good person. You wouldn't do anything if you could help it. Something must have happened before you got into a fight with T-chan.
[ terry has told her that he has been experiencing these strange mood swings and she knows that he wouldn't lie to her. she has also seen strange behaviour overcoming her friends before. sometimes, shadows inflict strange aliments onto people and that can dramatically change how they are. although terry said that it wasn't a shadow that infected him, she still thinks that some external factor had to cause everything. after all, mo-chan is kind and sweet. she can't imagine him ever getting upset if it wasn't for a really good reason or because he was pushed by something. ]
Don't worry. I'll be here with you.
[ she'll stay until he feels better. ]
no subject
He's afraid. He's so fucking afraid.
It felt like if he lets his guard down even just for a split second, he'll lose control of himself and repeat the same mistake again. Fujisaki was a good person, but let's face it ー he wasn't someone Mondo treasured the way he does Rei. Mondo wouldn't have known what to do with himself if the same thing happens to Rei, and if he loses her.
He looks towards the door and is about to run out of there when Rei grips his hand. His eyes dilate as he fights the urge to pry her hands off. When his eyes meet hers, he can see it ー what he admires about Rei: her courage. Her strength. It would be really easy for someone like Mondo to hurt her, but she has her trust on him ー she doesn't budge, nor worry for her own safety.
And yet, here he is, knees buckling from fear, down to the ground. The entirety of his back screams at the sudden strain he puts on it, but he can barely feel it when the tormenting pain in his heart is threatening to choke him. Tears begin to form in his eyes, and he hates it. He doesn't want Rei to see him like this.
Fuck! Fuck this!! Goddammit!! His fist balls, knuckles scratching against the ground. He's on all fours, head dropping so she won't see his tears, but it's obvious what's dropping on the ground isn't sweat. The tears won't stop, and he grits his teeth so hard it's audible. ]
Rei...
[ It's probably so fucking selfish to wish for this but he doesn't want to lose anyone dear to him anymore. He'd rather get tortured to death than having to lose anyone again. He'll do anything, everything, even if it means to leave everything behind if he can keep them safe. ]
Don't get close to me. I'm a murderer.
no subject
A murderer?
[ mo-chan is... a murderer...? ]
What do you mean?
[ well, that can't be true. he's a big friendly giant. he's like shin-chan and kanji-kun. just like them, he can't hurt anyone... the audience laughs in shinjiro's direction. ]
no subject
I... I killed my classmate.
[ His fists ball on the ground. ]
...I was... I was jealous of the strength Fujisaki showed-- and I...
[ He can't-- his voice trails off as he groans, tears pooling under him. ]
no subject
[ rei stays kneeled down next to mondo, completely unsure what to do. he's crying and he's saying that he killed someone, but she can't imagine that kind and sweet mo-chan could do something as bad as murdering a person. ]
I don't understand...
[ she says softly, but she speaks a bit louder as she finally moves that hand on his back. ]
But I know that you're a good person, Mo-chan. You wouldn't hurt anyone if you didn't have a good reason or if something forced you to. I'm sure it was just like what happened with T-chan!
no subject
[ He turns to look at Rei, eyebrows scrunched. Apart from tears, anger can be seen clearly in his eyes, but it's not one directed to Rei. At least, he didn't mean to, initially. ]
Ya don't understand, Rei. I killed Fujisaki because I was jealous. I couldn't control my anger, I couldn't control my own emotions and I just did it. There ain't no reason. I just did it.
[ He sees the need to emphasise that. Even if he didn't intend to kill Fujisaki, he did. It was done by his own hands, and that's what all it is. ]
That's right-- 's just like what happened with Terry!! [ His voice raises then, like his anger suddenly peaks. ] I just kept punchin' and fightin' him, even if it could've hurt him bad!! Even if... even if he's a friend...
[ He looks at his bleeding hands. ]
I don't wanna hurt ya, Rei...