[ Unfortunately for Terry, Mondo is successful at grabbing his face. When he slams his head to the nearest tree, that... definitely hurts. He bites back a pained scream. Blood is streaming down the back of his head, but Terry's still conscious. His better endurance levels won't let him pass out so easily anymore.
This time, Terry attempts to kick Mondo off by slamming his foot where the solar plexus should be to try and get him off. ]
[ For a flicker of moment, it's almost like Mondo nearly regained his 'sanity' ー his body freezes for a split second when he sees the pain in Terry's face and the dripping blood ー but it goes away the moment his solar plexus is struck. He falls back, coughing. It's so difficult to breathe, and his sight is blocked with black splatters, but he's enraged and that is what keeping him from falling unconscious.
In the state of not being able to think straight, he dives towards Terry, a frail attempt to bring the guy down with him. ]
[ Despite his head bleeding, Terry feels like he can focus even more because of the injury. He can feel his blood trickling down the back of his neck and staining his clothes, but that's absolutely fine. It's only when he reaches critical levels in a serious fight that really starts to show why demigods were labeled as such. Even for a failed clone like Terry, it's more than enough.
Exaggerated emotions typically heighten feelings such as anger, happiness, and fear... but what happens during those moments when you feel dangerously calm that you just feel numb? That's something Terry is experiencing right now--all his emotions plummeting and locked into some form of absolute zero at the cost of heightened self-loathing. Despicable. He feels like he's becoming even more like his original, but he can't stop. He feels like he wants to tear open the flesh cage and set himself free from all this repulsive feeling.
When Mondo attempts to dive at Terry, he quickly bounces off the tree behind him and jumps off another nearby tree to gain some air time and comes back down with an axe kick aimed at the center of Mondo's back. He thankfully knows how to control himself so that he doesn't end up killing a human, but behind the kick is the power of someone that has gone through multiple parkour sessions even while carrying someone. Fortunately, Terry has the limitations of a human, but even so, that has the possibility to cause some real damage.
Hopefully Mondo's thickness can save him this time. ]
[ As been quoted before, a wound on one's back is the shame of a swordsman ー but with how clearly overpowered Mondo is, down he goes easily following the kick. It was much stronger, much deadly than any other attack that Terry has launched on him, and Mondo doesn't get up right away like he did before.
He lies down there, feeling like his back is on fire, but not from anger anymore. It's from pain that begins to spread from one spot to the rest of his body. His muscles strain and his bones screech, he can't move without feeling extreme pain, like his back has been pierced. The anger within him hasn't quite dissipate, but with him realising how much weaker he is against Terry, and with the adrenaline slowly going down, his gears begin to turn and another emotion takes the driver's seat.
He knew it all along ー he already had it proved to himself time and time again, but being forced to face it like this, physically, when it was the only thing he could be proud of... it's devastating. No matter how hard he tries, he will never be the best. He's weak. Even if he tried to avoid thinking about it, the fact stands that he hasn't changed much since Fujisaki's death. All he had been doing was disappointing people, making people cry. He left Ishimaru and Tsumiki behind, and he knew that they didn't want him to leave. He had failed the only few people who needed him, believed in him so earnestly. And now... what has he achieved here, really? Even the Hoshino couple, the closest thing he had to parents had disappeared. ]
Arghhhhhhhhh!!!
[ Mondo wails, pushing himself off the ground, even if it feels like his body's about to break. His negative thought loop that usually has rationality chaining them down has lost control, that it only takes a snap before it goes to the deepest pit of desolation. Fuck this, fuck himself, fuck everything.
He's supposed to be dead. Why is he even still alive? What's the point of living anymore?
It's almost like he's lost the ability to even recognise Terry, blindly trying to attack him with yet another swing of punch. ]
[ Terry easily dodges the punch. It doesn't feel as accurate anymore. The hollow feeling stays inside him and he looks over at Mondo, calmly, as if the Terry everyone knew in town was no longer there, but a rather cold, calculating one had replaced him--using his body and voice--to express what the entity feels. ]
I thought you were tough, Mondo. What's with that punch? Even a kid could dodge that. I never imagined that you'd go down in a single kick.
[ Mondo's screams deafen even his own ears, cracking and peaking on the decibel scale. A punch follows his every scream, he's just wildly boxing now, like something within him just snapped. ]
What the fuck do ya even know?! Someone who ain't even human like ya will never get what it's like!! Gettin' compared, expected, cornered to measure up to what you'll never reach... Forced to carry on burden that ya never even asked for... Havin' to be strong, even if ya feel like yer gonna break...
[ He swings his arm again, but this time he goes for a grab instead of a punch -- attempting to grasp Terry's neck. ]
Everything ya do burns down to ashes! Because no matter what ya do ya fuck it up, ya just hurt people, ya will never get anythin' right!!
[ His volume drops then, breathing ragged. ]
No matter what people say... you're just a fuckin' murderer...
[ Terry was doing a good job at dodging the punches as usual because he can clearly see their projected path, until Mondo goes on about his spiel after his screams. It catches him off guard, allowing his neck to be grabbed. The shock makes his breath hitch and he starts clawing at Mondo's hand.
But right now, he feels a mix of desperation, anger, and sadness, in which anger easily overpowers all those emotions. It has certainly thawed out the absolute zero that emulates his original and he screams: ]
Don't act like you're the only one who feels that way! I had to deal with that shit too! It was painful! It hurt! I hated every single fucking second of it! They all expected me to fill in for a war leader, but I was only ever needed out of necessity, but I was never wanted anywhere!! And so what if you're a murderer--you're still you! Stupid Mondo--get it through your head! I told you before, didn't I?! Life is full of those things--things that you expect and don't see coming!
[ He's really... running out of air at this point. He feels like he would get dizzy if he continued, but his restraints flew out the window somewhere because anger's like "get the fuck out of the way". What's rationality when all you have is anger? ]
No one--is going to be perfect! Everyone fucks up! Some more than others, but that's fine! As long as you--ghh...
[ Okay he's totally out of breath now. He can't say anymore, but he continues to claw at Mondo's hand. ]
[ As Terry continues, Mondo's grip loosens. As if the fog before him had cleared up, his eyes dilate when he sees the red mark on Terry's neck. That was the red mark that he left. He did it again. He could've choked Terry had he gone on. He knew it. He couldn't escape it. He really is a murderer, all along - nothing else, nothing less. His hand shakes, and he steps back. The emotion turmoil within him doesn't quite stabilise, even if his adrenaline has stopped pumping. ]
As long as I what? As long as I try to make up for it? How can I make up for the lives lost, Terry, huh? Tell me. [ His voice trembles, too, lips curving into a smirk though he looks like he's about to break. ] I just choked you, and it could've gone real bad if I didn't stop.
[ And it's Terry, out of all people. If he can do this to Terry, he can do this to anyone. ]
I shouldn'tー I shouldn't haveー
[ He continues stepping back, unable to finish his sentence. He doesn't want to deny the friendships that he has built with the people here, but at this rate, he might do what can't be taken back anymore, just like the time with Fujisaki. He was right - it's bound to happen again, as long as he's alive. ]
[ Terry's brain feels like it's going to explode. All the oxygen comes rushing in like a dehydrated man being dunked into an oasis. Not to mention he already has a head injury, so that doesn't make it any better either. He coughs several times--gags even.
Terry's still pretty angry as he keeps hearing what Mondo has to say, but he doesn't let him finish. He doesn't want Mondo to finish what he's saying. Even through all his head pain, he quickly dives over at Mondo to knock him down and hovers over him. With all those earlier movements, the blood from the back of his head spread a lot, but it's fine. Terry can take it. ]
[ Mondo could've dodged it, but he didn't. He lets Terry knock him down, though he certainly wasn't expecting a slap to his face. The blood drips to his clothes, reminding him again that the choke wasn't the only thing he did to Terry. He just lashed the heck out of his emotions on Terry, for whatever reason. ]
.......
[ He doesn't say a thing, avoiding to look at Terry in the eyes. ]
[ After the slap, Terry grabs Mondo's collar and pulls him up--though thoroughly angry, he makes sure that he doesn't end up choking him. ]
It's not like... you wanted to kill whoever you did, right?! Look at yourself--your regrets are everywhere, they're obvious on your face! You didn't want to kill those people! I bet they were accidents! Sometimes you just can't fucking control yourself, and it happens! Shit happens in life!! I'm not... I'm not going to take back my fucking words, Mondo.
[ His voice is hoarse now. He screamed way too much, way too loud, even as he's still recovering from being choked and having his head bashed into the tree. His anger drops considerably and he looks like he's about to cry. ]
I said I'll always be your friend, no matter what. This doesn't change anything. You can punch me or do whatever. I don't care. At least I can take it. You're probably going to hate every minute of it, asking me why I'm still around you even though you fessed up to being a murderer, but I really...
[ Several tears start dropping from his face. ]
... don't care. You... you're more than just that. Stupid Mondo. I've seen how you're really like. You like cats. You're stupidly good at making stuff with your hands. You didn't leave me alone in the cupboard when you could have. You always liked eating the food I made for you. You wanted a family-like experience. It was... it was great, you know?
[ He lets go of Mondo's collar and now his fingertips are digging into Mondo's chest as he's straddling him over his stomach. He doesn't have the energy to hover above him anymore. Even through the crying, his anger quickly shoots up to 150% again. ]
You're more than just a label that you couldn't help! Wake the fuck up!!
[ Mondo keeps trying not to look at Terry, even when he called what he did 'accidents'. ]
They ain't no accidents... if I controlled myself better it wouldn't have happened. Losin' control don't excuse a thing when lives're lost!!
[ He couldn't look away forever, especially not when he heard Terry's voice starting to crack. And when the tears begin to drop, frustration begins to fill Mondo. Again. He made people he cares for cry again. It's all he does. Why can't he make them smile instead? His existence... will people be miserable as long as he's alive? Questions begin to flash before his mind, until Terry said what he said halted the negative train. It paused, but didn't stop. Because they're now leashed out. ]
Why the hell are you people even tryinna defend me?! After all I did... It don't make sense... [ He bellows, trying all his might to resist the will to shove Terry back. He keeps his hands on the sides of Terry's arms instead, his grips are so tight, that it's even painful for himself. ] God fuckin' dammit!! You're all fuckin' idiots!! Stop tryin' so hard to back me up!! I'm a goddamn murderer, Terry. I killed my brother, and I killed my own classmate. They've got a bright future ahead of 'em!! Why the fuck am I still here?! I'm supposed to die!! I've got nothin'!!
[ His arms hurt, but it doesn't hurt as much as his heart does after hearing what Mondo has to say. Terry has always been a selfish sort of person, who usually carried other people to the beat of his own tempo, so he grits his teeth so hard to the point that his jaws hurt. Breathing is still hard, and he ignores the pain in his throat and chest when he takes a deep breath-- ]
Then make your own future! Make your own bright future! Make up a dream! A goal! Anything! You dying won't solve anything! It's not going to bring people back, so live your damn hardest for the people you regret killing then! Live for them! live a good life for them! If that's not enough...
[ Those are the words he's heard, he's listened to, and yet. How can he live a good life for them? That's like spitting on their tombs. He doesn't have the rights to live happily after ending their lives!!
He tries to sit up with Terry still on top of him, the hands on Terry's arms move up to his shoulders, shaking them. ]
Are you fuckin' crazy?! I don't fuckin' deserve a future!! A murderer... a life-ruiner like me don't fuckin' deserve a future!! Much less for ya-- you're everyone's hope!! I can't ruin that... more than I already did.
[ Terry just ends up sliding to Mondo's lap as he sits up and he tries to get his hands off his shoulders--probably to no avail. He's tired. He's yelled so much and it's not even halfway to August yet. So many things happened this month. The heightened emotions tire him out so much quicker than usual, even with his crazy endurance. He's pretty sure he's still bleeding from the back of his head and that the back of clothes are perpetually wet with blood. ]
What are you talking about... I'm not some hope for someone. I'm just your average person. I'm nothing special.
[ Even though Terry sounds like he's speaking calmly, he's still pretty fucking angry. Combined with his energy levels and hoarse voice, it really sounds like he's near spent. He sometimes coughs on the side. ]
You're never going to ruin me... stupid. Only I [my original] can ruin me, and it can't get any worse than that.
[ Mondo's mighty grip on Terry's shoulders loosen, and that's when he finally realises how much his spine hurts. He doesn't lie back down, though, he tries to keep at it and forces to keep it straight. His eyes narrow from both hearing what Terry said and the pain spreading through his whole back.
Heightened emotions might as well serve as a truth serum for Mondo because he can't seem to control his mouth. Word filters that normally happen with embarrassment and his tendency to keep everything down, are broken with his emotions bursting, not knowing when and where to stop. Negativity that he wants to keep at the pit of his stomach gets thrown up, dragged out screaming, despite his (relatively) quiet voice. ]
You don't know how much you mean to all of us... you stupid fucker. There's no meanin' in havin' me in your life.
[ Before Mondo can even finish that last sentence, Terry slaps his hand over Mondo's mouth and keeps it there. Sorry for your teeth, dude. ]
That's right--I don't know what you're talking about! Just like how you don't know what I'm talking about when I said that you're always gonna be my friend! And that has meaning! Everyone has meaning!
[ At least those he cares about--he'd gladly forsake strangers for his friends. He has a very selfish moral compass. ]
That means you too, dumbass! You have meaning too! If you didn't, I wouldn't be here, trying to talk sense into you!!
[ Mondo forcefully pulls Terry's hand away from his mouth, but he doesn't actually say anything immediately. Instead he just grasps the hand. He can't counter any of Terry's words. If Terry were to be on his place, he would probably do the same thing. He'll find every way possible to make Terry see that he matters, no matter what his past was like. Still... ]
[ Exhaustion is peaking now, and he has no energy to fight Terry back with more shouting. Anger has been replaced with hollowness, and extreme self-hatred that tips more towards being done with himself rather than furious. He refuses to look back at Terry, because he's a stubborn fucker, tired or not. ]
I don't get why you're so fucking persistent. Doesn't it tire the fuck outta ya? Don't waste your fuckin' time wit' me. You've got other people to care for.
[ And it was said like a matter of fact, no irony, no nothing. Terry needs to open his eyes and realise there's no point to this. ]
I'm tired, but I keep doing this because I think you're worth it! You're always worth my time, Mondo!
[ Unfortunately, it only reminds Terry that his original may still be somewhere out there. His original is terrible. When Terry thinks about the sort of things he would put Mondo through, his frustration builds--fear too.
His free hand desperately grabs Mondo's arm. Terry feels so helpless. He doesn't want Mondo to think this way. He doesn't want Mondo to meet his original and think he'll deserve whatever terrible thing he has coming for him.
Terry feels utterly helpless, angry, scared... but mostly sad.
He screams with his hoarse voice after his head is lowered onto Mondo's shoulder and it quickly breaks down into loud crying. ]
[ A thousand 'why's resounds in his head. Ishimaru, Jon... even Sakamoto - they were all so persistent in convincing him that he's worth something, and they were relentless about it. They all refused to give him up and he fails to understand why they'd go so far. What's it that worth it from him? And honestly, he doesn't even want to make Terry say that - he doesn't need to, and Mondo doesn't deserve it. Even now, he's making Terry cry like this. And Terry doesn't seem like one who would easily cry in the first place.
Mondo shakes in frustration over himself, the hollowness is filled with the tears wetting his jacket. He doesn't know what it is that prompted Terry to cry, but there's a strong sadness in it, and it crushes his heart just listening to it. That takes over the emotion ride, shutting him up.
Nothing was said anymore, neither does he move any further or closer. He just lets Terry cry as much as he needs there, as long as he wants to...
...is what he wanted to, but when he rests a hand on Terry's nape, he feels a warm, dense fluid against his callused fingers. It prompts him to lift them up, to see red on it. That's right. Terry was hurtー no, he hurt Terry, and he's bleeding, real bad. ]
Not until you realize that you deserve good things too!
[ Whatever is left of his voice is gone now. He's coughing violently after, and his hand that holds Mondo's arm has pretty much become paler at this point from exerting so much pressure by grasping onto it. ]
[ If that's how Terry's gonna do it, he's gonna do it by force too. He grasps Terry by the pits, forcing him up with him. He can't help but let out a loud yelp of pain when he tries to stand up because shit, he might've really broken some bones or something back there. The pain is real, but he's not gonna bother with it, as long as he still can stand.
He continues pushing himself up until he can afford to put a knee on the ground, grasping Terry's arm and draping it around his neck. With Terry's mighty grip, there's a chance that the fingernails will dig deep in his skin but he doesn't care for scratches or the like. After a deep breath, he slips another hand between Terry's legs as uses all what his leg muscles can do to propel him to standing position. ]
Aaaarrrgggghhhh!!!!
[ The fireman's carry, as people would call it. He doesn't have a clue if this will make Terry's injuries worse or not, but he's not gonna argue with the guy and delay his treatment further. His breath is ragged, but he's determined to get Terry to the hospital himself. ]
[ Terry thinks that he still has enough strength to get out of Mondo's hold, but it probably won't end well with the fireman's carry and just goes limp. Now that he's like this, he feels exhaustion and all sorts of things creeping into his body. There's a lot of regrets he feels. He still feels the disgust over emulating his original, the damage he's done to Mondo, but mostly of all, he feels immense regret over not being able to change Mondo's mind. He doesn't want to leave it at that, but there's nothing he can do about it now.
He won't go unconscious though, and when they arrive at the hospital, he'll make sure to get treated properly, but he'll tell on Mondo too, saying that he also needs medical attention. His plan is to leave the hospital after getting treated while Mondo is stuck in a bed somewhere, so...
we can end the thread here!! or continue if you had something planned \o/ ]
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This time, Terry attempts to kick Mondo off by slamming his foot where the solar plexus should be to try and get him off. ]
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In the state of not being able to think straight, he dives towards Terry, a frail attempt to bring the guy down with him. ]
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Exaggerated emotions typically heighten feelings such as anger, happiness, and fear... but what happens during those moments when you feel dangerously calm that you just feel numb? That's something Terry is experiencing right now--all his emotions plummeting and locked into some form of absolute zero at the cost of heightened self-loathing. Despicable. He feels like he's becoming even more like his original, but he can't stop. He feels like he wants to tear open the flesh cage and set himself free from all this repulsive feeling.
Disgusting.
Disgusting. Disgusting. Disgusting. Disgusting. Disgusting. Disgusting. Disgusting. Disgusting. Disgusting. Disgusting. Disgusting. Disgusting. Disgusting. Disgusting. Disgusting. Disgusting. Disgusting. Disgusting. Disgusting. Disgusting. Disgusting. Disgusting. Disgusting. Disgusting. Disgusting. Disgusting. Disgusting. Disgusting. Disgusting. Disgusting.
His yelling is inaudible--a soundless scream.
When Mondo attempts to dive at Terry, he quickly bounces off the tree behind him and jumps off another nearby tree to gain some air time and comes back down with an axe kick aimed at the center of Mondo's back. He thankfully knows how to control himself so that he doesn't end up killing a human, but behind the kick is the power of someone that has gone through multiple parkour sessions even while carrying someone. Fortunately, Terry has the limitations of a human, but even so, that has the possibility to cause some real damage.
Hopefully Mondo's thickness can save him this time. ]
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He lies down there, feeling like his back is on fire, but not from anger anymore. It's from pain that begins to spread from one spot to the rest of his body. His muscles strain and his bones screech, he can't move without feeling extreme pain, like his back has been pierced. The anger within him hasn't quite dissipate, but with him realising how much weaker he is against Terry, and with the adrenaline slowly going down, his gears begin to turn and another emotion takes the driver's seat.
He knew it all along ー he already had it proved to himself time and time again, but being forced to face it like this, physically, when it was the only thing he could be proud of... it's devastating. No matter how hard he tries, he will never be the best. He's weak. Even if he tried to avoid thinking about it, the fact stands that he hasn't changed much since Fujisaki's death. All he had been doing was disappointing people, making people cry. He left Ishimaru and Tsumiki behind, and he knew that they didn't want him to leave. He had failed the only few people who needed him, believed in him so earnestly. And now... what has he achieved here, really? Even the Hoshino couple, the closest thing he had to parents had disappeared. ]
Arghhhhhhhhh!!!
[ Mondo wails, pushing himself off the ground, even if it feels like his body's about to break. His negative thought loop that usually has rationality chaining them down has lost control, that it only takes a snap before it goes to the deepest pit of desolation. Fuck this, fuck himself, fuck everything.
He's supposed to be dead. Why is he even still alive? What's the point of living anymore?
It's almost like he's lost the ability to even recognise Terry, blindly trying to attack him with yet another swing of punch. ]
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I thought you were tough, Mondo. What's with that punch? Even a kid could dodge that. I never imagined that you'd go down in a single kick.
I guess all humans are fragile, after all...
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[ Mondo's screams deafen even his own ears, cracking and peaking on the decibel scale. A punch follows his every scream, he's just wildly boxing now, like something within him just snapped. ]
What the fuck do ya even know?! Someone who ain't even human like ya will never get what it's like!! Gettin' compared, expected, cornered to measure up to what you'll never reach... Forced to carry on burden that ya never even asked for... Havin' to be strong, even if ya feel like yer gonna break...
[ He swings his arm again, but this time he goes for a grab instead of a punch -- attempting to grasp Terry's neck. ]
Everything ya do burns down to ashes! Because no matter what ya do ya fuck it up, ya just hurt people, ya will never get anythin' right!!
[ His volume drops then, breathing ragged. ]
No matter what people say... you're just a fuckin' murderer...
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But right now, he feels a mix of desperation, anger, and sadness, in which anger easily overpowers all those emotions. It has certainly thawed out the absolute zero that emulates his original and he screams: ]
Don't act like you're the only one who feels that way! I had to deal with that shit too! It was painful! It hurt! I hated every single fucking second of it! They all expected me to fill in for a war leader, but I was only ever needed out of necessity, but I was never wanted anywhere!! And so what if you're a murderer--you're still you! Stupid Mondo--get it through your head! I told you before, didn't I?! Life is full of those things--things that you expect and don't see coming!
[ He's really... running out of air at this point. He feels like he would get dizzy if he continued, but his restraints flew out the window somewhere because anger's like "get the fuck out of the way". What's rationality when all you have is anger? ]
No one--is going to be perfect! Everyone fucks up! Some more than others, but that's fine! As long as you--ghh...
[ Okay he's totally out of breath now. He can't say anymore, but he continues to claw at Mondo's hand. ]
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As long as I what? As long as I try to make up for it? How can I make up for the lives lost, Terry, huh? Tell me. [ His voice trembles, too, lips curving into a smirk though he looks like he's about to break. ] I just choked you, and it could've gone real bad if I didn't stop.
[ And it's Terry, out of all people. If he can do this to Terry, he can do this to anyone. ]
I shouldn'tー I shouldn't haveー
[ He continues stepping back, unable to finish his sentence. He doesn't want to deny the friendships that he has built with the people here, but at this rate, he might do what can't be taken back anymore, just like the time with Fujisaki. He was right - it's bound to happen again, as long as he's alive. ]
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Terry's still pretty angry as he keeps hearing what Mondo has to say, but he doesn't let him finish. He doesn't want Mondo to finish what he's saying. Even through all his head pain, he quickly dives over at Mondo to knock him down and hovers over him. With all those earlier movements, the blood from the back of his head spread a lot, but it's fine. Terry can take it. ]
SNAP OUT OF IT!!
[ That is a loud slap across Mondo's face. ]
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.......
[ He doesn't say a thing, avoiding to look at Terry in the eyes. ]
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It's not like... you wanted to kill whoever you did, right?! Look at yourself--your regrets are everywhere, they're obvious on your face! You didn't want to kill those people! I bet they were accidents! Sometimes you just can't fucking control yourself, and it happens! Shit happens in life!! I'm not... I'm not going to take back my fucking words, Mondo.
[ His voice is hoarse now. He screamed way too much, way too loud, even as he's still recovering from being choked and having his head bashed into the tree. His anger drops considerably and he looks like he's about to cry. ]
I said I'll always be your friend, no matter what. This doesn't change anything. You can punch me or do whatever. I don't care. At least I can take it. You're probably going to hate every minute of it, asking me why I'm still around you even though you fessed up to being a murderer, but I really...
[ Several tears start dropping from his face. ]
... don't care. You... you're more than just that. Stupid Mondo. I've seen how you're really like. You like cats. You're stupidly good at making stuff with your hands. You didn't leave me alone in the cupboard when you could have. You always liked eating the food I made for you. You wanted a family-like experience. It was... it was great, you know?
[ He lets go of Mondo's collar and now his fingertips are digging into Mondo's chest as he's straddling him over his stomach. He doesn't have the energy to hover above him anymore. Even through the crying, his anger quickly shoots up to 150% again. ]
You're more than just a label that you couldn't help! Wake the fuck up!!
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They ain't no accidents... if I controlled myself better it wouldn't have happened. Losin' control don't excuse a thing when lives're lost!!
[ He couldn't look away forever, especially not when he heard Terry's voice starting to crack. And when the tears begin to drop, frustration begins to fill Mondo. Again. He made people he cares for cry again. It's all he does. Why can't he make them smile instead? His existence... will people be miserable as long as he's alive? Questions begin to flash before his mind, until Terry said what he said halted the negative train. It paused, but didn't stop. Because they're now leashed out. ]
Why the hell are you people even tryinna defend me?! After all I did... It don't make sense... [ He bellows, trying all his might to resist the will to shove Terry back. He keeps his hands on the sides of Terry's arms instead, his grips are so tight, that it's even painful for himself. ] God fuckin' dammit!! You're all fuckin' idiots!! Stop tryin' so hard to back me up!! I'm a goddamn murderer, Terry. I killed my brother, and I killed my own classmate. They've got a bright future ahead of 'em!! Why the fuck am I still here?! I'm supposed to die!! I've got nothin'!!
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Then make your own future! Make your own bright future! Make up a dream! A goal! Anything! You dying won't solve anything! It's not going to bring people back, so live your damn hardest for the people you regret killing then! Live for them! live a good life for them! If that's not enough...
THEN LIVE FOR ME!!
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He tries to sit up with Terry still on top of him, the hands on Terry's arms move up to his shoulders, shaking them. ]
Are you fuckin' crazy?! I don't fuckin' deserve a future!! A murderer... a life-ruiner like me don't fuckin' deserve a future!! Much less for ya-- you're everyone's hope!! I can't ruin that... more than I already did.
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What are you talking about... I'm not some hope for someone. I'm just your average person. I'm nothing special.
[ Even though Terry sounds like he's speaking calmly, he's still pretty fucking angry. Combined with his energy levels and hoarse voice, it really sounds like he's near spent. He sometimes coughs on the side. ]
You're never going to ruin me... stupid. Only I [my original] can ruin me, and it can't get any worse than that.
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[ Mondo's mighty grip on Terry's shoulders loosen, and that's when he finally realises how much his spine hurts. He doesn't lie back down, though, he tries to keep at it and forces to keep it straight. His eyes narrow from both hearing what Terry said and the pain spreading through his whole back.
Heightened emotions might as well serve as a truth serum for Mondo because he can't seem to control his mouth. Word filters that normally happen with embarrassment and his tendency to keep everything down, are broken with his emotions bursting, not knowing when and where to stop. Negativity that he wants to keep at the pit of his stomach gets thrown up, dragged out screaming, despite his (relatively) quiet voice. ]
You don't know how much you mean to all of us... you stupid fucker. There's no meanin' in havin' me in your life.
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That's right--I don't know what you're talking about! Just like how you don't know what I'm talking about when I said that you're always gonna be my friend! And that has meaning! Everyone has meaning!
[ At least those he cares about--he'd gladly forsake strangers for his friends. He has a very selfish moral compass. ]
That means you too, dumbass! You have meaning too! If you didn't, I wouldn't be here, trying to talk sense into you!!
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[ Mondo forcefully pulls Terry's hand away from his mouth, but he doesn't actually say anything immediately. Instead he just grasps the hand. He can't counter any of Terry's words. If Terry were to be on his place, he would probably do the same thing. He'll find every way possible to make Terry see that he matters, no matter what his past was like. Still... ]
I don't get it...
[ He sighs, looking away from Terry again. ]
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[ Terry doesn't take his hand back and just lets it stay being grabbed by Mondo. Terry is unfortunately still high strung, so... ]
What is it?! Look at me!!
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I don't get why you're so fucking persistent. Doesn't it tire the fuck outta ya? Don't waste your fuckin' time wit' me. You've got other people to care for.
[ And it was said like a matter of fact, no irony, no nothing. Terry needs to open his eyes and realise there's no point to this. ]
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[ Unfortunately, it only reminds Terry that his original may still be somewhere out there. His original is terrible. When Terry thinks about the sort of things he would put Mondo through, his frustration builds--fear too.
His free hand desperately grabs Mondo's arm. Terry feels so helpless. He doesn't want Mondo to think this way. He doesn't want Mondo to meet his original and think he'll deserve whatever terrible thing he has coming for him.
Terry feels utterly helpless, angry, scared... but mostly sad.
He screams with his hoarse voice after his head is lowered onto Mondo's shoulder and it quickly breaks down into loud crying. ]
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Mondo shakes in frustration over himself, the hollowness is filled with the tears wetting his jacket. He doesn't know what it is that prompted Terry to cry, but there's a strong sadness in it, and it crushes his heart just listening to it. That takes over the emotion ride, shutting him up.
Nothing was said anymore, neither does he move any further or closer. He just lets Terry cry as much as he needs there, as long as he wants to...
...is what he wanted to, but when he rests a hand on Terry's nape, he feels a warm, dense fluid against his callused fingers. It prompts him to lift them up, to see red on it. That's right. Terry was hurtー no, he hurt Terry, and he's bleeding, real bad. ]
Terry. Terry, we gotta get you fixed up.
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[ He screams in between sobs. ]
Not until you realize that you deserve good things too!
[ Whatever is left of his voice is gone now. He's coughing violently after, and his hand that holds Mondo's arm has pretty much become paler at this point from exerting so much pressure by grasping onto it. ]
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[ If that's how Terry's gonna do it, he's gonna do it by force too. He grasps Terry by the pits, forcing him up with him. He can't help but let out a loud yelp of pain when he tries to stand up because shit, he might've really broken some bones or something back there. The pain is real, but he's not gonna bother with it, as long as he still can stand.
He continues pushing himself up until he can afford to put a knee on the ground, grasping Terry's arm and draping it around his neck. With Terry's mighty grip, there's a chance that the fingernails will dig deep in his skin but he doesn't care for scratches or the like. After a deep breath, he slips another hand between Terry's legs as uses all what his leg muscles can do to propel him to standing position. ]
Aaaarrrgggghhhh!!!!
[ The fireman's carry, as people would call it. He doesn't have a clue if this will make Terry's injuries worse or not, but he's not gonna argue with the guy and delay his treatment further. His breath is ragged, but he's determined to get Terry to the hospital himself. ]
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He won't go unconscious though, and when they arrive at the hospital, he'll make sure to get treated properly, but he'll tell on Mondo too, saying that he also needs medical attention. His plan is to leave the hospital after getting treated while Mondo is stuck in a bed somewhere, so...
we can end the thread here!! or continue if you had something planned \o/ ]
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