[ Those are the words he's heard, he's listened to, and yet. How can he live a good life for them? That's like spitting on their tombs. He doesn't have the rights to live happily after ending their lives!!
He tries to sit up with Terry still on top of him, the hands on Terry's arms move up to his shoulders, shaking them. ]
Are you fuckin' crazy?! I don't fuckin' deserve a future!! A murderer... a life-ruiner like me don't fuckin' deserve a future!! Much less for ya-- you're everyone's hope!! I can't ruin that... more than I already did.
[ Terry just ends up sliding to Mondo's lap as he sits up and he tries to get his hands off his shoulders--probably to no avail. He's tired. He's yelled so much and it's not even halfway to August yet. So many things happened this month. The heightened emotions tire him out so much quicker than usual, even with his crazy endurance. He's pretty sure he's still bleeding from the back of his head and that the back of clothes are perpetually wet with blood. ]
What are you talking about... I'm not some hope for someone. I'm just your average person. I'm nothing special.
[ Even though Terry sounds like he's speaking calmly, he's still pretty fucking angry. Combined with his energy levels and hoarse voice, it really sounds like he's near spent. He sometimes coughs on the side. ]
You're never going to ruin me... stupid. Only I [my original] can ruin me, and it can't get any worse than that.
[ Mondo's mighty grip on Terry's shoulders loosen, and that's when he finally realises how much his spine hurts. He doesn't lie back down, though, he tries to keep at it and forces to keep it straight. His eyes narrow from both hearing what Terry said and the pain spreading through his whole back.
Heightened emotions might as well serve as a truth serum for Mondo because he can't seem to control his mouth. Word filters that normally happen with embarrassment and his tendency to keep everything down, are broken with his emotions bursting, not knowing when and where to stop. Negativity that he wants to keep at the pit of his stomach gets thrown up, dragged out screaming, despite his (relatively) quiet voice. ]
You don't know how much you mean to all of us... you stupid fucker. There's no meanin' in havin' me in your life.
[ Before Mondo can even finish that last sentence, Terry slaps his hand over Mondo's mouth and keeps it there. Sorry for your teeth, dude. ]
That's right--I don't know what you're talking about! Just like how you don't know what I'm talking about when I said that you're always gonna be my friend! And that has meaning! Everyone has meaning!
[ At least those he cares about--he'd gladly forsake strangers for his friends. He has a very selfish moral compass. ]
That means you too, dumbass! You have meaning too! If you didn't, I wouldn't be here, trying to talk sense into you!!
[ Mondo forcefully pulls Terry's hand away from his mouth, but he doesn't actually say anything immediately. Instead he just grasps the hand. He can't counter any of Terry's words. If Terry were to be on his place, he would probably do the same thing. He'll find every way possible to make Terry see that he matters, no matter what his past was like. Still... ]
[ Exhaustion is peaking now, and he has no energy to fight Terry back with more shouting. Anger has been replaced with hollowness, and extreme self-hatred that tips more towards being done with himself rather than furious. He refuses to look back at Terry, because he's a stubborn fucker, tired or not. ]
I don't get why you're so fucking persistent. Doesn't it tire the fuck outta ya? Don't waste your fuckin' time wit' me. You've got other people to care for.
[ And it was said like a matter of fact, no irony, no nothing. Terry needs to open his eyes and realise there's no point to this. ]
I'm tired, but I keep doing this because I think you're worth it! You're always worth my time, Mondo!
[ Unfortunately, it only reminds Terry that his original may still be somewhere out there. His original is terrible. When Terry thinks about the sort of things he would put Mondo through, his frustration builds--fear too.
His free hand desperately grabs Mondo's arm. Terry feels so helpless. He doesn't want Mondo to think this way. He doesn't want Mondo to meet his original and think he'll deserve whatever terrible thing he has coming for him.
Terry feels utterly helpless, angry, scared... but mostly sad.
He screams with his hoarse voice after his head is lowered onto Mondo's shoulder and it quickly breaks down into loud crying. ]
[ A thousand 'why's resounds in his head. Ishimaru, Jon... even Sakamoto - they were all so persistent in convincing him that he's worth something, and they were relentless about it. They all refused to give him up and he fails to understand why they'd go so far. What's it that worth it from him? And honestly, he doesn't even want to make Terry say that - he doesn't need to, and Mondo doesn't deserve it. Even now, he's making Terry cry like this. And Terry doesn't seem like one who would easily cry in the first place.
Mondo shakes in frustration over himself, the hollowness is filled with the tears wetting his jacket. He doesn't know what it is that prompted Terry to cry, but there's a strong sadness in it, and it crushes his heart just listening to it. That takes over the emotion ride, shutting him up.
Nothing was said anymore, neither does he move any further or closer. He just lets Terry cry as much as he needs there, as long as he wants to...
...is what he wanted to, but when he rests a hand on Terry's nape, he feels a warm, dense fluid against his callused fingers. It prompts him to lift them up, to see red on it. That's right. Terry was hurtー no, he hurt Terry, and he's bleeding, real bad. ]
Not until you realize that you deserve good things too!
[ Whatever is left of his voice is gone now. He's coughing violently after, and his hand that holds Mondo's arm has pretty much become paler at this point from exerting so much pressure by grasping onto it. ]
[ If that's how Terry's gonna do it, he's gonna do it by force too. He grasps Terry by the pits, forcing him up with him. He can't help but let out a loud yelp of pain when he tries to stand up because shit, he might've really broken some bones or something back there. The pain is real, but he's not gonna bother with it, as long as he still can stand.
He continues pushing himself up until he can afford to put a knee on the ground, grasping Terry's arm and draping it around his neck. With Terry's mighty grip, there's a chance that the fingernails will dig deep in his skin but he doesn't care for scratches or the like. After a deep breath, he slips another hand between Terry's legs as uses all what his leg muscles can do to propel him to standing position. ]
Aaaarrrgggghhhh!!!!
[ The fireman's carry, as people would call it. He doesn't have a clue if this will make Terry's injuries worse or not, but he's not gonna argue with the guy and delay his treatment further. His breath is ragged, but he's determined to get Terry to the hospital himself. ]
[ Terry thinks that he still has enough strength to get out of Mondo's hold, but it probably won't end well with the fireman's carry and just goes limp. Now that he's like this, he feels exhaustion and all sorts of things creeping into his body. There's a lot of regrets he feels. He still feels the disgust over emulating his original, the damage he's done to Mondo, but mostly of all, he feels immense regret over not being able to change Mondo's mind. He doesn't want to leave it at that, but there's nothing he can do about it now.
He won't go unconscious though, and when they arrive at the hospital, he'll make sure to get treated properly, but he'll tell on Mondo too, saying that he also needs medical attention. His plan is to leave the hospital after getting treated while Mondo is stuck in a bed somewhere, so...
we can end the thread here!! or continue if you had something planned \o/ ]
[ Mondo did have his back checked and while he had broken bones, they aren't one that needed hospitalisation, so he gets to go home back to the warehouse where there's only a futon and cat bed for Lia. He'll come to regret that he doesn't try to stay at the hospital as Terry'll be nowhere to be found when he tries to look for him the coming days.
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no subject
He tries to sit up with Terry still on top of him, the hands on Terry's arms move up to his shoulders, shaking them. ]
Are you fuckin' crazy?! I don't fuckin' deserve a future!! A murderer... a life-ruiner like me don't fuckin' deserve a future!! Much less for ya-- you're everyone's hope!! I can't ruin that... more than I already did.
no subject
What are you talking about... I'm not some hope for someone. I'm just your average person. I'm nothing special.
[ Even though Terry sounds like he's speaking calmly, he's still pretty fucking angry. Combined with his energy levels and hoarse voice, it really sounds like he's near spent. He sometimes coughs on the side. ]
You're never going to ruin me... stupid. Only I [my original] can ruin me, and it can't get any worse than that.
no subject
[ Mondo's mighty grip on Terry's shoulders loosen, and that's when he finally realises how much his spine hurts. He doesn't lie back down, though, he tries to keep at it and forces to keep it straight. His eyes narrow from both hearing what Terry said and the pain spreading through his whole back.
Heightened emotions might as well serve as a truth serum for Mondo because he can't seem to control his mouth. Word filters that normally happen with embarrassment and his tendency to keep everything down, are broken with his emotions bursting, not knowing when and where to stop. Negativity that he wants to keep at the pit of his stomach gets thrown up, dragged out screaming, despite his (relatively) quiet voice. ]
You don't know how much you mean to all of us... you stupid fucker. There's no meanin' in havin' me in your life.
no subject
That's right--I don't know what you're talking about! Just like how you don't know what I'm talking about when I said that you're always gonna be my friend! And that has meaning! Everyone has meaning!
[ At least those he cares about--he'd gladly forsake strangers for his friends. He has a very selfish moral compass. ]
That means you too, dumbass! You have meaning too! If you didn't, I wouldn't be here, trying to talk sense into you!!
no subject
[ Mondo forcefully pulls Terry's hand away from his mouth, but he doesn't actually say anything immediately. Instead he just grasps the hand. He can't counter any of Terry's words. If Terry were to be on his place, he would probably do the same thing. He'll find every way possible to make Terry see that he matters, no matter what his past was like. Still... ]
I don't get it...
[ He sighs, looking away from Terry again. ]
no subject
[ Terry doesn't take his hand back and just lets it stay being grabbed by Mondo. Terry is unfortunately still high strung, so... ]
What is it?! Look at me!!
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I don't get why you're so fucking persistent. Doesn't it tire the fuck outta ya? Don't waste your fuckin' time wit' me. You've got other people to care for.
[ And it was said like a matter of fact, no irony, no nothing. Terry needs to open his eyes and realise there's no point to this. ]
no subject
[ Unfortunately, it only reminds Terry that his original may still be somewhere out there. His original is terrible. When Terry thinks about the sort of things he would put Mondo through, his frustration builds--fear too.
His free hand desperately grabs Mondo's arm. Terry feels so helpless. He doesn't want Mondo to think this way. He doesn't want Mondo to meet his original and think he'll deserve whatever terrible thing he has coming for him.
Terry feels utterly helpless, angry, scared... but mostly sad.
He screams with his hoarse voice after his head is lowered onto Mondo's shoulder and it quickly breaks down into loud crying. ]
no subject
Mondo shakes in frustration over himself, the hollowness is filled with the tears wetting his jacket. He doesn't know what it is that prompted Terry to cry, but there's a strong sadness in it, and it crushes his heart just listening to it. That takes over the emotion ride, shutting him up.
Nothing was said anymore, neither does he move any further or closer. He just lets Terry cry as much as he needs there, as long as he wants to...
...is what he wanted to, but when he rests a hand on Terry's nape, he feels a warm, dense fluid against his callused fingers. It prompts him to lift them up, to see red on it. That's right. Terry was hurtー no, he hurt Terry, and he's bleeding, real bad. ]
Terry. Terry, we gotta get you fixed up.
no subject
[ He screams in between sobs. ]
Not until you realize that you deserve good things too!
[ Whatever is left of his voice is gone now. He's coughing violently after, and his hand that holds Mondo's arm has pretty much become paler at this point from exerting so much pressure by grasping onto it. ]
no subject
[ If that's how Terry's gonna do it, he's gonna do it by force too. He grasps Terry by the pits, forcing him up with him. He can't help but let out a loud yelp of pain when he tries to stand up because shit, he might've really broken some bones or something back there. The pain is real, but he's not gonna bother with it, as long as he still can stand.
He continues pushing himself up until he can afford to put a knee on the ground, grasping Terry's arm and draping it around his neck. With Terry's mighty grip, there's a chance that the fingernails will dig deep in his skin but he doesn't care for scratches or the like. After a deep breath, he slips another hand between Terry's legs as uses all what his leg muscles can do to propel him to standing position. ]
Aaaarrrgggghhhh!!!!
[ The fireman's carry, as people would call it. He doesn't have a clue if this will make Terry's injuries worse or not, but he's not gonna argue with the guy and delay his treatment further. His breath is ragged, but he's determined to get Terry to the hospital himself. ]
no subject
He won't go unconscious though, and when they arrive at the hospital, he'll make sure to get treated properly, but he'll tell on Mondo too, saying that he also needs medical attention. His plan is to leave the hospital after getting treated while Mondo is stuck in a bed somewhere, so...
we can end the thread here!! or continue if you had something planned \o/ ]
no subject
And yes we can!! ]