[ Having negative thought loops isn't something that's unfamiliar to Mondo. He's had it for as long as he can remember, that he can't recall when was the last time he's free of it. Every single moments of happiness will immediately be followed by a strong feeling of dread, that he doesn't deserve it, that he'll lose everything, that it will backfire on him. Fluctuation of emotions is something he's learned to deal with, and it's never had exploded the way it did during what went down with Fujisaki.
So why in the hell, after so long, he's struck by this steaming fury, sorrow, fear ー all kinds of colors of emotions that turn black when mixed ー raring to go and make a riot? Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. He doesn't want to hurt anyone else. Fujisaki didn't deserve it. Aniki didn't deserve it. They both should've lived, and he was supposed to be the one taking their places. Lia has been avoiding him, and while it made him sad yesterday, it really is for the better ー he doesn't want to do something he'll regret anymore, while he still has his voice of reason.
He's barely grasping on it, it's threatening to slip out of the grip, and as it increases the faster Mondo goes, heading towards the forest without really looking at where he's going. He has to go, far far away from where everyone else is, before anything happens. His speed picks up, and while he's usually alert enough to dodge sudden attacks, he was too preoccupied to reactー ]
Hngk－!!
[ ーand down he falls to his knees. He trembles, but not in pain-- heck, he can barely feel the pain. He's trembling in sheer fury. It's as if out of all the emotions that are taking turns to dominate Mondo, fury wins out with the impact. He looks up, finding Terry standing there, like he's surprised at his own actions.
His body moves faster than his brain can. Before he knows it, he's pulling Terry by his collar, tight enough to choke him. His eyes are bloodshot, staring straight at Terry, so it's not as if he doesn't know who it is, but he grits his teeth and doesn't relent. ]
The fuck you tryinna do? Aah?!? You wanna die?
[ No, no, fuck, this ain't how it's supposed to be, let him go you fucking idiot!! The quiet scream of plead is drowned by the sound of his own palpitation, deafening, numbing. His breathing is ragged, like an agitated wild animal. ]
cw: dr1 spoiler in thread + morbid thoughts
So why in the hell, after so long, he's struck by this steaming fury, sorrow, fear ー all kinds of colors of emotions that turn black when mixed ー raring to go and make a riot? Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. He doesn't want to hurt anyone else. Fujisaki didn't deserve it. Aniki didn't deserve it. They both should've lived, and he was supposed to be the one taking their places. Lia has been avoiding him, and while it made him sad yesterday, it really is for the better ー he doesn't want to do something he'll regret anymore, while he still has his voice of reason.
He's barely grasping on it, it's threatening to slip out of the grip, and as it increases the faster Mondo goes, heading towards the forest without really looking at where he's going. He has to go, far far away from where everyone else is, before anything happens. His speed picks up, and while he's usually alert enough to dodge sudden attacks, he was too preoccupied to reactー ]
Hngk－!!
[ ーand down he falls to his knees. He trembles, but not in pain-- heck, he can barely feel the pain. He's trembling in sheer fury. It's as if out of all the emotions that are taking turns to dominate Mondo, fury wins out with the impact. He looks up, finding Terry standing there, like he's surprised at his own actions.
His body moves faster than his brain can. Before he knows it, he's pulling Terry by his collar, tight enough to choke him. His eyes are bloodshot, staring straight at Terry, so it's not as if he doesn't know who it is, but he grits his teeth and doesn't relent. ]
The fuck you tryinna do? Aah?!? You wanna die?
[ No, no, fuck, this ain't how it's supposed to be, let him go you fucking idiot!! The quiet scream of plead is drowned by the sound of his own palpitation, deafening, numbing. His breathing is ragged, like an agitated wild animal. ]