So? It still doesn't give me a reason to tell ya anythin'.
[ 'You owe her'. Hah. Like Mondo doesn't know how much he owed Fujisaki already. He takes a deep breath, trying to settle his nerves. This tug of war is such a fucking waste of time. He's done. ]
If you've got nothin' better to say I'm hangin' up.
[He would say he's never met someone this selfish before, but he has. He just doesn't usually end up confronting them in reality.]
Are you really that much of a cold-blooded coward you're gonna brush it off? Try and act like it didn't happen? It wasn't a dream! All of that's in your head. You can't hide from what we both saw.
[Mondo's on hands and knees crawling beneath that low bar, but somehow he still manages to squeeze underneath it.]
...Coward? [ He mutters that, mostly to himself, but audible enough to be picked up. ] When did I act like that? When did I fuckin' hide? I've said it earlier ー that happened. What else do you want, aah? Reasons? So you can rationalise why I did shit?!
[ A forced, cracking laughter booms on the device speaker. ]
News for ya: I don't give a crap what you think about me. I don't fuckin' care if you hate me, or treat me like some goddamn criminal. 'Cuz guess what? That's a fact! What, are you gonna say you were trying to believe me, or some shit like that? [ This time, a more natural-sounding chuckle leaves him. ] Too bad. [ There was no trace of amusement in it, though. ] It's rainin' on your parade, shithead. Well, at least you can have your throne of shit-eatin' saint all to yourself. Enjoy it.
[ And with that, Mondo hangs up, throwing the device to another side of his bed.
...That was... Much.
The fact that a lifeー no, two lives were gone under his hands never stopped haunting him. Ever since he's gotten his 'second chance' here in Wonderland, he's got plenty of times to think about it, to mull over it, to involuntarily have the scene replaying in his head over and over. He'd expect himself not to feel so strongly about the exposure of the 'same old thing' for the umpteenth time, and yet... He sighs loudly, covering his face with his broad palms. Once again, it makes him wonder, why him? Why Mondo, out of all people, who gets the chance to live again? Why not Aniki? Why not Fujisaki? The charismatic leader and the prodigy programmer ー they both deserved their lives much, much more than him. They had promising future and potentials ahead. They were strong, stronger than a lot of people. Stronger... than him. ]
Khー Fuck.
[ Conversation with that punk gave him so much bitter aftertaste, god. He totally needed all the reminders. If only he could spit them out, vomit those poisonous substances that squashed him tight inside, maybe it'd feel better. Alas, there's no way to boot out the intangible. ]
Goddammit!
[ Ugh, fuck sleeping. Who the hell can sleep after that anyway?!
In a matter of minute, he gets off his bed, out of his room, and down the stairs. He keeps going and going. It doesn't matter where, he needs to get away, get out of there, somewhere. ]
[Cowards come in all shapes and sizes. Some refuse to look at themselves clearly, viewing themselves through a warped mirror that casts blame on the world and themselves in a favorable light. Some hunch in a delicate web of denial like a grotesque spider, devouring anyone who'd dare break the strands with a much-needed reality check.
Some act like confessing after they're caught is the same as owning up, and shrug their shoulders as if to say "what's done is done, no point crying over spilled blood."
They're all shades of the same chicken shit in Ryuji's eyes.
The Phantom Thieves of Hearts had been born from wanting to break from the society that condoned such weak-willed, distorted lines of thinking; Mondo gets a phantom thief's corresponding condemnation. Does Ryuji want excuses? No. Is he the person who needs convincing? No. That Mondo has made a murderer of himself beyond justification is something they can both agree on.]
She's the one who believed in you, Oowada.
[It's what Fujisaki, and Mondo himself, are (were) holding onto in their hearts that matter, not Ryuji. But he doesn't get a chance to say that before he's greeted with the dial tone at the end of the defensive rant.
He growls into the receiver. So that's how it's going to be, huh? Still hiding.
Well, it's a small world. Mondo can run, but the one thing he can't do is hide forever.]
Edited (now with sentences that make actual sense) 2017-10-09 21:38 (UTC)
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no subject
[ 'You owe her'. Hah. Like Mondo doesn't know how much he owed Fujisaki already. He takes a deep breath, trying to settle his nerves. This tug of war is such a fucking waste of time. He's done. ]
If you've got nothin' better to say I'm hangin' up.
no subject
[He would say he's never met someone this selfish before, but he has. He just doesn't usually end up confronting them in reality.]
Are you really that much of a cold-blooded coward you're gonna brush it off? Try and act like it didn't happen? It wasn't a dream! All of that's in your head. You can't hide from what we both saw.
[Mondo's on hands and knees crawling beneath that low bar, but somehow he still manages to squeeze underneath it.]
Say somethin'!
voice ▹ action
[ A forced, cracking laughter booms on the device speaker. ]
News for ya: I don't give a crap what you think about me. I don't fuckin' care if you hate me, or treat me like some goddamn criminal. 'Cuz guess what? That's a fact! What, are you gonna say you were trying to believe me, or some shit like that? [ This time, a more natural-sounding chuckle leaves him. ] Too bad. [ There was no trace of amusement in it, though. ] It's rainin' on your parade, shithead. Well, at least you can have your throne of shit-eatin' saint all to yourself. Enjoy it.
[ And with that, Mondo hangs up, throwing the device to another side of his bed.
...That was... Much.
The fact that a lifeー no, two lives were gone under his hands never stopped haunting him. Ever since he's gotten his 'second chance' here in Wonderland, he's got plenty of times to think about it, to mull over it, to involuntarily have the scene replaying in his head over and over. He'd expect himself not to feel so strongly about the exposure of the 'same old thing' for the umpteenth time, and yet... He sighs loudly, covering his face with his broad palms. Once again, it makes him wonder, why him? Why Mondo, out of all people, who gets the chance to live again? Why not Aniki? Why not Fujisaki? The charismatic leader and the prodigy programmer ー they both deserved their lives much, much more than him. They had promising future and potentials ahead. They were strong, stronger than a lot of people. Stronger... than him. ]
Khー Fuck.
[ Conversation with that punk gave him so much bitter aftertaste, god. He totally needed all the reminders. If only he could spit them out, vomit those poisonous substances that squashed him tight inside, maybe it'd feel better. Alas, there's no way to boot out the intangible. ]
Goddammit!
[ Ugh, fuck sleeping. Who the hell can sleep after that anyway?!
In a matter of minute, he gets off his bed, out of his room, and down the stairs. He keeps going and going. It doesn't matter where, he needs to get away, get out of there, somewhere. ]
no subject
Some act like confessing after they're caught is the same as owning up, and shrug their shoulders as if to say "what's done is done, no point crying over spilled blood."
They're all shades of the same chicken shit in Ryuji's eyes.
The Phantom Thieves of Hearts had been born from wanting to break from the society that condoned such weak-willed, distorted lines of thinking; Mondo gets a phantom thief's corresponding condemnation. Does Ryuji want excuses? No. Is he the person who needs convincing? No. That Mondo has made a murderer of himself beyond justification is something they can both agree on.]
She's the one who believed in you, Oowada.
[It's what Fujisaki, and Mondo himself, are (were) holding onto in their hearts that matter, not Ryuji. But he doesn't get a chance to say that before he's greeted with the dial tone at the end of the defensive rant.
He growls into the receiver. So that's how it's going to be, huh? Still hiding.
Well, it's a small world. Mondo can run, but the one thing he can't do is hide forever.]