[ He won't tell, he's promised her that, but it doesn't stop him from being very!! Angry!! No one does this to his friend!! What the fuck!!
He does, however, notice that she begins stuttering and panicking. Is it because he raised his voice? He huffs out his anger with a puff of air, in attempt to diffuse himself. ]
My bad, I shouldn't have shouted. [ You've yelled louder before and not apologise, Mondo... Anyway, he's trying to see this with a cool head but it's really hard to when Tsumiki's obviously being mistreated. ] I mean, you're just asking a goddamn question, why would that bring the mood down? [ The hell does that even mean? ] Is she that irritable?
[ He's seen some batshit woman (read: Celestia Ludenberg) in his life, 0/10 will recommend. ]
[Oh god she's making things worse!!! As things spiral, she begins retreating back into old habits.]
I'm sorry! I shouldn't have said anything! I didn't mean to make you think that way!
[Oh god, she's doing that again, just when she was knocking that shit off!!! THIS IS BAD, STOP IT!!! WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS YOU STUPID GIRL?! YOU'RE GOING TO DRIVE HIM AWAY LIKE YOU DO EVERYONE ELSE!!!! STOP IT!!!]
Monika was j-just trying to help, she told me I had to, had to stop acting like that, that I let people walk all over me, she just wanted to help me get better... She's not bad, she said she liked me, said she was happy to have met me...
[THEN WHY ARE YOU THROWING HER UNDER THE BUS LIKE THIS?! YOU MORON MORON MORON THIS IS WHY YOU'RE ALONE YOU DON'T DESERVE ANY FRIENDS]
[ Mondo can't hear her internal conflicts, he can't tell what she's thinking either. But it's clear that she's in her self-depreciating mode again, and it's pretty much his fault for cornering the Monika chick. Feeling that he won't get through her otherwise, he grabs her wrists, hoping that he'll get her attention that way. ]
Tsumiki, listen, 's not your fault. 's not your fault, yer fine. [ He tries to say this as calm as possible. ] I won't say sorry about what I said about... that chick. [ For a sec he almost uses the word 'friend' but, hah. Some friend. ] No matter what good shit she's said to you, she still hurt you. When someone steps on yer feet in a packed train, even if they don't mean it, it still hurts, ain't it? No one can tell you that y'can't feel hurt just 'cuz it's not on purpose.
[ And shit, there's already a whole list of receipt about the chick there, what else's there to defend about her, even if she wasn't the one pranking Tsumiki? She still treated her bad, especially when Tsumiki's thinking of her as a friend! ]
[She jerks when caught, and the tears come once more, now hard and heavy as they stream down her cheeks. As he speaks as calmly as he can, she tries to control her breathing and not break down completely. He's the last person she wants to drive away now. God, why can't she just stop... just stop? Period?
He's right, she didn't mean it. That's all. Not everyone can word themselves perfectly. Monika didn't mean to hurt her. That has to be it.]
I'm sorry... I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry... I don't... I don't want to lose anymore friends... I don't want to be alone... I kn-know I shouldn't let people... d-do anything they want, or s-say anything they want to me, but I... I can't help it, I... I just... I'm so scared of being alone... I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm sorry...
[Who is she even apologizing to anymore? Him? Monika? Everyone? Herself?]
[ Mondo keeps making her cry, why this. His eyebrows knit together, but not in the usual downwards frown. Even if he has things to say about that chick, that's not a big deal right now. ]
Tsumiki...
[ He doesn't know if his words are getting through her. If they did, she wouldn't apologise like this, would she? Why is she still blaming herself? He shifts closer, leaning down and peeking up so she can see his face, eye to eye between her tears. ]
Yo, look. I'm here, aren't I? You're not alone. You don't need to apologise 'bout anythin'. You did nothin' wrong.
Mikan whimpers, trying to see Mondo through her blurry tears. Her fingers cling to her apron, a physical attempt to make her stop apologizing. It takes great effort, and a lot of heavy breathing. But eventually, she manages to push it down.]
Th... th... thank you, Mondo. I've been... trying to stop doing that... It doesn't solve anything... I have to be... stronger.
He keeps his eyes on Tsumiki, leaning back slightly as his palm lies on her head ー his go-to beginner move, headpats. This time, though, he doesn't just keep it there, his thumb rubs against her scalp gently, slowly moving the palm against her hair. His hand then slides to the base of her head, thumb brushing away tears on her cheek. ]
Aren't cha plenty strong now?
[ It's not so much a question as much as a statement. ]
I haven't known you for that long yet, but even I can see the difference. [ The first time they met, she stuttered with her every word, making a huge mess of everything. And now, even if she does still panic and cry, she's making progresses at being more confident, at believing in herself, especially in recent months. He doesn't think those qualities of her are something that need to go, even if it'll be nice if it's lesser in frequency. ] Let people say whatever they wanna say. You're improvin', on yer own pace. There ain't no use rushin' it.
[ Out of everyone, he'd know how it feels wanting to be stronger. Feeling pressured to be stronger, fast, now. ]
I did what I did 'cuz I cornered myself, y'know? I kept tellin' myself I gotta be stronger than anyone else. It's goddamn stupid, thinkin' back.
[ He knows he doesn't need to specify what it is. Even if Tsumiki doesn't know the details, it was clear what happened, she saw the execution. He had done something that he couldn't take back ー even if he spent the whole of his Wonderland life atoning ー a crime. ]
But I realised, bein' here... though I'm still weak, I'm slowly gettin' stronger 'cuz you guys got my back. If I try to make it alone, I'll just lose it.
[ It sounds so uncharacteristically cheesy coming from him, but it's the truth, and he's got no problem admitting it. ]
That's why... you don't gotta do it on yer own, y'know?
[ His hand moves to cup her cheek, lifting her face tenderly.
[At a different time, she'll muse how odd it is that Mondo is okay touching her head and cheek and wrists like this, but cuddling up for a photo makes him go bananas. How weird. Anyway.
"I did what I did"? She almost asks him what that means, but within seconds, seeing that pain, that guilt, that weight in his eyes - oh. She still doesn't know exactly what happened, and isn't entirely sure she wants to. But here is a detail about it nonetheless : the desire to be strong led him to kill. What does that mean? Could such a need really lead to the death of another?
... Yes, it could. Mikan is fully aware about the dangers of needs, wants, the extremes of emotions. Monokuma had counted on it. Wonderland counts on it.
Wonderland could make him hurt her. It could make her hurt him. But she's not afraid of that, not afraid of some far-off possibility, when his touch is real and warm and here.
She doesn't want this moment to ever stop. Her hand lifts and touches his own, grateful, maybe even to double-check this is happening, not a dream.]
If... If you can count on someone like me, then... I know... I can always c-count on you.
[Her other hand comes up now, now both of hers holding his one.]
I'm... still scared, but I'm... not scared as I was before. Can we find a way to be strong... the right way? Together?
[ It's called TPO, Mikan! He'll probably slam his own head to the wall when he thinks about this later.
The touch on his hand is soft, warm. It's comfortable. That, and her words just strengthen what he's believed and what he's just said ー she's got his back. He knew, but it feels really, really good to have it confirmed again. It's nothing like the times when he always, always desperately tried to keep his appearance, tried to appease to the expectations put upon him. He hasn't been the best person here, either, but the friends he's made here ー the comrades he's made here, they've never been anything less than supportive, even if their ways aren't always the same as his.
Mondo's eyes find the ground for a moment as he thinks about her question. Can they find the right way to be stronger? To move forward, leaving their past behind? When her other hand holds his hand too, he looks back at her as he very, very slowly takes that hand off her cheek, like he doesn't want to do that.
But that hand, together with his other hand finds both her hands. ]
...I dunno what's the right way. [ Neither does he think he'll find it even if it takes him forever. ] But whatever it is, we won't get anywhere if we don't keep goin'. It might not be the 'right' way, but it's our way. [ A squeeze to her hands. ] Ain't that enough?
[ Step by step. That feels like the method that suits the both of them best. ]
You got me, I got you. We got some our friends here. 's long as we don't hurt anyone, does it really matter whether it's right or wrong?
[Is the person who sent the mystery text watching this? Mikan kind of hopes they are - just to show them that Mikan's not alone in this. She's got amazing friends to help her. Whatever the prankster wanted... they won't get it anymore.
Watch all you want. She's not going to stop being herself. She's not going to stop improving herself. She's not going to stop living.]
Mmmm... You... you might be right. It's our way... and it's the only way we have.
[She doesn't smile, per se, but she doesn't quite have the same sad, pained expression as before.]
You got me. I got you. Our friends have us. We have them. And we'll take this, whatever it is... o-one day at a time.
[ They certainly have derailed from the main reason they're getting together tonight, but in a strangely satisfying way. They were able to confirm each other's bond that was built here, in Wonderland, that they wouldn't get to talk about out of nowhere. (Gee, thanks Monika. Sorta.)
Tsumiki doesn't smile, indeed, but he doesn't need a forced smile from her. He likes the determined look she has in her eyes, even if things aren't really clear for them now, she looks stronger than before. So Mondo will smile, or rather, smirk for the two of them. ]
Heh. Well said! Good job!
[ Are you her boss... Anyway, Mondo gives her a thumbs up for that.
Yep. That's what life is all about after all, isn't it? He doesn't know much about it himself, and he's by no means the brainy kind, but everyone has their own way of life. Be it right or wrong, it's their way of life. People from the yakuzas... he won't say they live honourable lives, but who's he to judge? Just because he's a normal citizen doesn't make his sins any lighter than theirs. That's just the path they've chosen. ]
We'll figure it out, somehow.
[ Now that they've talked that out though... they still gotta do something about the prank. ]
...That said, I don't feel it's safe to leave ya alone. It might be just some prank, but what if it ain't just that?
[ It's Wonderland, they'll never know. ]
Since that chick don't seem to be all good with techs, it might not be her. [ He picked that bit up earlier, just didn't want to address it when a more important thing was said. Still, doesn't mean he's forgiving her for the crap she's pulled on Tsumiki. ] But the fact that it ain't her can make it worse.
[Oh, right, the original purpose for the visit! Wow, that somehow got lost in all the crying and self-pity. Mikan wipes away the remaining tears, nodding along to his logic. She still doesn't believe it's Monika, but that opens up a whole different world of trouble.]
I'm not too good with tech myself...
[And, no offense, she doubts Mondo is either. So what can really be done?
Wait. He's not asking to... is he really asking to...?]
Are you saying you... want to... spend the night here?
[RED CHEEKS RED CHEEKS RED CHEEKS IS THAT WHAT YOU WERE IMPLYING ALL ALONG MONDO THAT YOU WANTED TO SLEEP HERE FOR CLEARLY HEROIC REASONS]
[ Yep, no offense taken, he still doesn't know how to put punctuation on his texts so that's really telling. He could've asked someone but since he hadn't met any difficulties without them... eh. ]
......
[ Wait what. ]
Haaah?!
[ Okay hold on. That's... true. That totally how that sounded, right? Shit. His cheeks are burning now, too. ]
There's no way I'd-- no!! That's-- I can't do that!
[ Mondo, calm down. ]
I mean, I'll stay outside your room! O, or somethin'! So if there's anythin', y'know...
[ Okay, he's regaining his calm now that they're not talking about him sleeping in her room. He shakes his head firmly. ]
It's aight, I'm good at keeping guard and stealing naps! [ He's pretty nocturnal anyway, with how the bousouzoku activities are mostly done at night. ] I'm gonna fall asleep for real if you get me a futon, and that'll defeat the purpose.
[ True, he can't exactly do this every night, if we're talking about efficiency here. But what if... ah well, he'll think about that what if tomorrow. He nods at her. The gratitude does make him kinda bashful, though, so he clicks his tongue and teases her instead. ]
Tch. Yeah, you can just yell "hieeehhhh!!" or somethin'.
[ Was that his horrible attempt to imitate her? Yep. ]
[And that's her weak attempt to play along. She's not 100% in the mood to play, but she does want to let him know she'll be okay. No need to make him worry all night.]
[ And that's the last head pat of the day. Night. Whatever. ]
See you in the mornin'.
[ With that, he takes his leave, sitting himself down by the door once he's closed it behind him. Does he even realise the implication of what he said? Nope, hasn't dawned on him yet. Maybe later when the clock strikes 3. Good night. ]
[Mikan watches the door for a while. Wordlessly, she gets up, comes to the door, and touches it.]
Thank you... Mondo. You might be the best friend... I've ever had.
[She says it so softly that it's likely he didn't hear her. She stays there for a while longer before finally retreating to the closet to change into her pajamas. She'll sleep easy now, thinking of the mystery text, and of Mondo.
Now she's got to repay him somehow. It's only fair. Another light, whispered mumble.]
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no subject
He does, however, notice that she begins stuttering and panicking. Is it because he raised his voice? He huffs out his anger with a puff of air, in attempt to diffuse himself. ]
My bad, I shouldn't have shouted. [ You've yelled louder before and not apologise, Mondo... Anyway, he's trying to see this with a cool head but it's really hard to when Tsumiki's obviously being mistreated. ] I mean, you're just asking a goddamn question, why would that bring the mood down? [ The hell does that even mean? ] Is she that irritable?
[ He's seen some batshit woman (read: Celestia Ludenberg) in his life, 0/10 will recommend. ]
no subject
I'm sorry! I shouldn't have said anything! I didn't mean to make you think that way!
[Oh god, she's doing that again, just when she was knocking that shit off!!! THIS IS BAD, STOP IT!!! WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS YOU STUPID GIRL?! YOU'RE GOING TO DRIVE HIM AWAY LIKE YOU DO EVERYONE ELSE!!!! STOP IT!!!]
Monika was j-just trying to help, she told me I had to, had to stop acting like that, that I let people walk all over me, she just wanted to help me get better... She's not bad, she said she liked me, said she was happy to have met me...
[THEN WHY ARE YOU THROWING HER UNDER THE BUS LIKE THIS?! YOU MORON MORON MORON THIS IS WHY YOU'RE ALONE YOU DON'T DESERVE ANY FRIENDS]
no subject
Tsumiki, listen, 's not your fault. 's not your fault, yer fine. [ He tries to say this as calm as possible. ] I won't say sorry about what I said about... that chick. [ For a sec he almost uses the word 'friend' but, hah. Some friend. ] No matter what good shit she's said to you, she still hurt you. When someone steps on yer feet in a packed train, even if they don't mean it, it still hurts, ain't it? No one can tell you that y'can't feel hurt just 'cuz it's not on purpose.
[ And shit, there's already a whole list of receipt about the chick there, what else's there to defend about her, even if she wasn't the one pranking Tsumiki? She still treated her bad, especially when Tsumiki's thinking of her as a friend! ]
no subject
He's right, she didn't mean it. That's all. Not everyone can word themselves perfectly. Monika didn't mean to hurt her. That has to be it.]
I'm sorry... I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry... I don't... I don't want to lose anymore friends... I don't want to be alone... I kn-know I shouldn't let people... d-do anything they want, or s-say anything they want to me, but I... I can't help it, I... I just... I'm so scared of being alone... I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm sorry...
[Who is she even apologizing to anymore? Him? Monika? Everyone? Herself?]
no subject
Tsumiki...
[ He doesn't know if his words are getting through her. If they did, she wouldn't apologise like this, would she? Why is she still blaming herself? He shifts closer, leaning down and peeking up so she can see his face, eye to eye between her tears. ]
Yo, look. I'm here, aren't I? You're not alone. You don't need to apologise 'bout anythin'. You did nothin' wrong.
no subject
Mikan whimpers, trying to see Mondo through her blurry tears. Her fingers cling to her apron, a physical attempt to make her stop apologizing. It takes great effort, and a lot of heavy breathing. But eventually, she manages to push it down.]
Th... th... thank you, Mondo. I've been... trying to stop doing that... It doesn't solve anything... I have to be... stronger.
mild dr1 spoilers
He keeps his eyes on Tsumiki, leaning back slightly as his palm lies on her head ー his go-to beginner move, headpats. This time, though, he doesn't just keep it there, his thumb rubs against her scalp gently, slowly moving the palm against her hair. His hand then slides to the base of her head, thumb brushing away tears on her cheek. ]
Aren't cha plenty strong now?
[ It's not so much a question as much as a statement. ]
I haven't known you for that long yet, but even I can see the difference. [ The first time they met, she stuttered with her every word, making a huge mess of everything. And now, even if she does still panic and cry, she's making progresses at being more confident, at believing in herself, especially in recent months. He doesn't think those qualities of her are something that need to go, even if it'll be nice if it's lesser in frequency. ] Let people say whatever they wanna say. You're improvin', on yer own pace. There ain't no use rushin' it.
[ Out of everyone, he'd know how it feels wanting to be stronger. Feeling pressured to be stronger, fast, now. ]
I did what I did 'cuz I cornered myself, y'know? I kept tellin' myself I gotta be stronger than anyone else. It's goddamn stupid, thinkin' back.
[ He knows he doesn't need to specify what it is. Even if Tsumiki doesn't know the details, it was clear what happened, she saw the execution. He had done something that he couldn't take back ー even if he spent the whole of his Wonderland life atoning ー a crime. ]
But I realised, bein' here... though I'm still weak, I'm slowly gettin' stronger 'cuz you guys got my back. If I try to make it alone, I'll just lose it.
[ It sounds so uncharacteristically cheesy coming from him, but it's the truth, and he's got no problem admitting it. ]
That's why... you don't gotta do it on yer own, y'know?
[ His hand moves to cup her cheek, lifting her face tenderly.
I'm here. ]
no subject
"I did what I did"? She almost asks him what that means, but within seconds, seeing that pain, that guilt, that weight in his eyes - oh. She still doesn't know exactly what happened, and isn't entirely sure she wants to. But here is a detail about it nonetheless : the desire to be strong led him to kill. What does that mean? Could such a need really lead to the death of another?
... Yes, it could. Mikan is fully aware about the dangers of needs, wants, the extremes of emotions. Monokuma had counted on it. Wonderland counts on it.
Wonderland could make him hurt her. It could make her hurt him. But she's not afraid of that, not afraid of some far-off possibility, when his touch is real and warm and here.
She doesn't want this moment to ever stop. Her hand lifts and touches his own, grateful, maybe even to double-check this is happening, not a dream.]
If... If you can count on someone like me, then... I know... I can always c-count on you.
[Her other hand comes up now, now both of hers holding his one.]
I'm... still scared, but I'm... not scared as I was before. Can we find a way to be strong... the right way? Together?
no subject
The touch on his hand is soft, warm. It's comfortable. That, and her words just strengthen what he's believed and what he's just said ー she's got his back. He knew, but it feels really, really good to have it confirmed again. It's nothing like the times when he always, always desperately tried to keep his appearance, tried to appease to the expectations put upon him. He hasn't been the best person here, either, but the friends he's made here ー the comrades he's made here, they've never been anything less than supportive, even if their ways aren't always the same as his.
Mondo's eyes find the ground for a moment as he thinks about her question. Can they find the right way to be stronger? To move forward, leaving their past behind? When her other hand holds his hand too, he looks back at her as he very, very slowly takes that hand off her cheek, like he doesn't want to do that.
But that hand, together with his other hand finds both her hands. ]
...I dunno what's the right way. [ Neither does he think he'll find it even if it takes him forever. ] But whatever it is, we won't get anywhere if we don't keep goin'. It might not be the 'right' way, but it's our way. [ A squeeze to her hands. ] Ain't that enough?
[ Step by step. That feels like the method that suits the both of them best. ]
You got me, I got you. We got some our friends here. 's long as we don't hurt anyone, does it really matter whether it's right or wrong?
no subject
Watch all you want. She's not going to stop being herself. She's not going to stop improving herself. She's not going to stop living.]
Mmmm... You... you might be right. It's our way... and it's the only way we have.
[She doesn't smile, per se, but she doesn't quite have the same sad, pained expression as before.]
You got me. I got you. Our friends have us. We have them. And we'll take this, whatever it is... o-one day at a time.
no subject
Tsumiki doesn't smile, indeed, but he doesn't need a forced smile from her. He likes the determined look she has in her eyes, even if things aren't really clear for them now, she looks stronger than before. So Mondo will smile, or rather, smirk for the two of them. ]
Heh. Well said! Good job!
[ Are you her boss... Anyway, Mondo gives her a thumbs up for that.
Yep. That's what life is all about after all, isn't it? He doesn't know much about it himself, and he's by no means the brainy kind, but everyone has their own way of life. Be it right or wrong, it's their way of life. People from the yakuzas... he won't say they live honourable lives, but who's he to judge? Just because he's a normal citizen doesn't make his sins any lighter than theirs. That's just the path they've chosen. ]
We'll figure it out, somehow.
[ Now that they've talked that out though... they still gotta do something about the prank. ]
...That said, I don't feel it's safe to leave ya alone. It might be just some prank, but what if it ain't just that?
[ It's Wonderland, they'll never know. ]
Since that chick don't seem to be all good with techs, it might not be her. [ He picked that bit up earlier, just didn't want to address it when a more important thing was said. Still, doesn't mean he's forgiving her for the crap she's pulled on Tsumiki. ] But the fact that it ain't her can make it worse.
no subject
I'm not too good with tech myself...
[And, no offense, she doubts Mondo is either. So what can really be done?
Wait. He's not asking to... is he really asking to...?]
Are you saying you... want to... spend the night here?
[RED CHEEKS RED CHEEKS RED CHEEKS IS THAT WHAT YOU WERE IMPLYING ALL ALONG MONDO THAT YOU WANTED TO SLEEP HERE FOR CLEARLY HEROIC REASONS]
no subject
......
[ Wait what. ]
Haaah?!
[ Okay hold on. That's... true. That totally how that sounded, right? Shit. His cheeks are burning now, too. ]
There's no way I'd-- no!! That's-- I can't do that!
[ Mondo, calm down. ]
I mean, I'll stay outside your room! O, or somethin'! So if there's anythin', y'know...
[ Don't panic. ]
no subject
[... Okay could she sleep if he was IN the room? This is a rock and a hard place situation.
and mondo's the hard place.]C-Can't I at least get you a futon or something...?
no subject
It's aight, I'm good at keeping guard and stealing naps! [ He's pretty nocturnal anyway, with how the bousouzoku activities are mostly done at night. ] I'm gonna fall asleep for real if you get me a futon, and that'll defeat the purpose.
[ He gets up from where he's sitting. ]
Plus, I wanna do this. Lemme do it.
no subject
... Just for tonight, then... I-If anything happens inside the room, I'll tell you right away, I promise.
[She then bows her head, deeply appreciative. Dang, next year she'll have to make a chocolate as big as his head.]
... Thank you very much, Mondo.
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Tch. Yeah, you can just yell "hieeehhhh!!" or somethin'.
[ Was that his horrible attempt to imitate her? Yep. ]
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[And that's her weak attempt to play along. She's not 100% in the mood to play, but she does want to let him know she'll be okay. No need to make him worry all night.]
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[ And that's the last head pat of the day. Night. Whatever. ]
See you in the mornin'.
[ With that, he takes his leave, sitting himself down by the door once he's closed it behind him. Does he even realise the implication of what he said? Nope, hasn't dawned on him yet. Maybe later when the clock strikes 3. Good night. ]
no subject
Thank you... Mondo. You might be the best friend... I've ever had.
[She says it so softly that it's likely he didn't hear her. She stays there for a while longer before finally retreating to the closet to change into her pajamas. She'll sleep easy now, thinking of the mystery text, and of Mondo.
Now she's got to repay him somehow. It's only fair. Another light, whispered mumble.]
... See you in the morning.